30th July 2017
All was going so well this morning until until 3 year old hit 7 year old with Buzz Lightyear! Now both kids have the grump.
Tried to get 7 year old interested in her school maths thing online but turns out she's better at that on my phone or the tablet than she is on the laptop, that's 2017 for you!
So try to get the kids playing together, 7 year old starts a game of hide and seek. Don't think 3 year old has grasped this game! He counts to roughly 10, shouts out 'coming ready or not' then sits down in front of TV! 7 year old eventually comes back downstairs confused!
Then 7 year old starts counting, 3 year old runs off supposedly to hide. When she gets to 20 she says 'coming ready or not' starts going upstairs to shouts from 3 year old 'I'm in the toilet!' Turns out he's actually 'on' not 'in' the toilet doing his business!
Whilst out this afternoon, 3 year old has the right grump over just about everything until he finds a stick to carry around then he's happy (it's like taking a retriever out!)
Happy Sunday everyone!
Xx
Sunday 30 July 2017
Saturday 29 July 2017
The Harry Potter Similarities
The Harry Potter Similarities
Part 1
Although it would be logical to note the similarities between my 3 year old son and Spot from The Good Dinosaur -
running round wearing only pants, barking and howling at people, obsessed with dinosaurs - today I write what makes him similar to a Harry Potter character! Dobby the House Elf!
So here goes.
Dobby the House Elf and My 3 Year Old Son!
Dobby comes into Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets jumping on the bed, all beds in our house are treated like trampolines by 3 year old!
3 year old can regularly be seen head butting various furniture and bashing himself with objects, although if I catch him using the side lamp in our living room to hit himself over the head he will be in trouble!
3 year old has short attention span when it comes to creating a drawing master piece or something but can be easily impressed by a sock!
When asking 3 year old questions such as 'where did you put your shoes' or 'why is that biscuit on the record player' answer is mostly 'I cannot say!'
The final similarity is Mummy, Daddy and big sister can be seen running after 3 year old shouting 'get back here!'
Oh and as a note I'd like to think 3 year old won't ever iron his hands or drop a cake on anyone's head!
To those reading this it's also a good idea to consider that during a bath, 3 year old has a remarkable resemblance to Gollum also!
Part 2
So while I'm here I'd also like to show some similarities between my daughter and Hermione Granger!
Hermione Granger and My 7 Year Old Daughter!
Hermione comes into Harry Potter and The Philosophers Stone already looking down her nose at the boys and telling Ron he has dirt on his nose. 7 year old daughter hyperventilates at the sight of any dirt and God forbid that dirt should be on herself! Looks of disgust go across her face if 3 year old brother should be (and usually is) dirty!
7 year old loves Hermione's wavy hair and on some occasions has plaited hair when wet and left over night to create the Hermione look.
7 year old is very academic and would be more concerned about getting expelled from school than dying!
7 year old has a play Harry Potter wand (with sound effects) and is very good and pronouncing 'wingardium leviosaaaaaa!' If only 'immobulus' would work on her brother!
So there we have it, Hermione and Dobby living under the same roof!
I'm sure over time there will be many more characters I can identify them with.
XX
Part 1
Although it would be logical to note the similarities between my 3 year old son and Spot from The Good Dinosaur -
running round wearing only pants, barking and howling at people, obsessed with dinosaurs - today I write what makes him similar to a Harry Potter character! Dobby the House Elf!
So here goes.
Dobby the House Elf and My 3 Year Old Son!
Dobby comes into Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets jumping on the bed, all beds in our house are treated like trampolines by 3 year old!
3 year old can regularly be seen head butting various furniture and bashing himself with objects, although if I catch him using the side lamp in our living room to hit himself over the head he will be in trouble!
3 year old has short attention span when it comes to creating a drawing master piece or something but can be easily impressed by a sock!
When asking 3 year old questions such as 'where did you put your shoes' or 'why is that biscuit on the record player' answer is mostly 'I cannot say!'
The final similarity is Mummy, Daddy and big sister can be seen running after 3 year old shouting 'get back here!'
Oh and as a note I'd like to think 3 year old won't ever iron his hands or drop a cake on anyone's head!
To those reading this it's also a good idea to consider that during a bath, 3 year old has a remarkable resemblance to Gollum also!
Part 2
So while I'm here I'd also like to show some similarities between my daughter and Hermione Granger!
Hermione Granger and My 7 Year Old Daughter!
Hermione comes into Harry Potter and The Philosophers Stone already looking down her nose at the boys and telling Ron he has dirt on his nose. 7 year old daughter hyperventilates at the sight of any dirt and God forbid that dirt should be on herself! Looks of disgust go across her face if 3 year old brother should be (and usually is) dirty!
7 year old loves Hermione's wavy hair and on some occasions has plaited hair when wet and left over night to create the Hermione look.
7 year old is very academic and would be more concerned about getting expelled from school than dying!
7 year old has a play Harry Potter wand (with sound effects) and is very good and pronouncing 'wingardium leviosaaaaaa!' If only 'immobulus' would work on her brother!
So there we have it, Hermione and Dobby living under the same roof!
I'm sure over time there will be many more characters I can identify them with.
XX
Wednesday 26 July 2017
26th July 2017
26th July 2017
Just as I think I've got nothing else to write today, 7 year old comes out with the funniest one to date!
Asked by Daddy to go and ask Mummy to explain 'nincompoop,' to which Mummy replies 'numpty, idiot, twit.' Can you see where this is going?!!
7 year old goes back to Daddy who asks 'what's a nincompoop then?' 7 year old replies 'an idiot or a tw*t!!' This is NOT what I said !!
So amongst the hysterical laughter have to explain to 7 year old that we don't use that word! And yes it's hours later and we're still laughing!
Xx
Just as I think I've got nothing else to write today, 7 year old comes out with the funniest one to date!
Asked by Daddy to go and ask Mummy to explain 'nincompoop,' to which Mummy replies 'numpty, idiot, twit.' Can you see where this is going?!!
7 year old goes back to Daddy who asks 'what's a nincompoop then?' 7 year old replies 'an idiot or a tw*t!!' This is NOT what I said !!
So amongst the hysterical laughter have to explain to 7 year old that we don't use that word! And yes it's hours later and we're still laughing!
Xx
Pant boy!
Pant Boy is a relatively small threat to the general public and comes in the shape of my 3 year old son who regularly wanders round in just his pants, looking like Borat, and currently a pair of wellies too!
His threats include 'bundling' you from out of nowhere and at a rate of knots when your only crime is minding your own business! Also roaring at unsuspecting passers by, luckily most of these usually just laugh at him and by the way he is usually fully clothed in these circumstances !
On occasions when he manages to take himself to the toilet, Pant Boy can be seen emerging from the bathroom with his t-shirt tucked in his pants and his pants protruding over his trousers!
Pant Boy can regularly be seen standing on the sofa with his face and hands pushed up against the fish tank scaring the living daylights out if the poor goldfish!
Whenever Pant Boy is lucky enough to be treated to a new plastic toy, he'll walk up to the till and slap the toy down shouting 'dinosaur please ' or more recently 'mini beast please' when he was treated to a bright green centipede!
So you see, not a huge threat to society, just enough to make you look twice and chuckle!
Xx
His threats include 'bundling' you from out of nowhere and at a rate of knots when your only crime is minding your own business! Also roaring at unsuspecting passers by, luckily most of these usually just laugh at him and by the way he is usually fully clothed in these circumstances !
On occasions when he manages to take himself to the toilet, Pant Boy can be seen emerging from the bathroom with his t-shirt tucked in his pants and his pants protruding over his trousers!
Pant Boy can regularly be seen standing on the sofa with his face and hands pushed up against the fish tank scaring the living daylights out if the poor goldfish!
Whenever Pant Boy is lucky enough to be treated to a new plastic toy, he'll walk up to the till and slap the toy down shouting 'dinosaur please ' or more recently 'mini beast please' when he was treated to a bright green centipede!
So you see, not a huge threat to society, just enough to make you look twice and chuckle!
Xx
So What Would You Like To Do In The Holidays?
So What Would You Like To Do In The Holidays?
This is the question I have just put to my 7 year old. The answer.............
3 year old shouts out 'ice cream.' Well that I can manage, if it ever stops raining!
7 year olds answers are a little different to say the least! Including
1. Do the washing by myself.
2. Cook by myself.
So far I'm not arguing!
3. Aeroplane flying.
I explain she'll need a passport for number 3 so somewsomewhere in this country...........
4. Scotland!
I say somewhere a bit closer to home...........
5. Wales!
Giving up hope of a sensible answer now!
Xx
This is the question I have just put to my 7 year old. The answer.............
3 year old shouts out 'ice cream.' Well that I can manage, if it ever stops raining!
7 year olds answers are a little different to say the least! Including
1. Do the washing by myself.
2. Cook by myself.
So far I'm not arguing!
3. Aeroplane flying.
I explain she'll need a passport for number 3 so somewsomewhere in this country...........
4. Scotland!
I say somewhere a bit closer to home...........
5. Wales!
Giving up hope of a sensible answer now!
Xx
Behind closed doors
Every morning of the school holidays starts off with breaking up fights between the children, shouting at them to share and not play tug of war with every toy!
Then around lunch time we go out and to everyone looking we're the perfect mother and children and we always get on and they never fight!
However on returning to the car after a pleasant afternoon out the fighting and arguing begins again and once again i take up shouting at the kids to stop doing whatever it is!
Upon reaching home the tug of war on EVERY toy resumes.
Despite numerous attempts to bribe, blackmail, and generally negotiate a quieter and calmer household, tomorrow I'm sure will be another battleground and general wearing out if my voice box and sanity! Wish me luck!
Xx
Then around lunch time we go out and to everyone looking we're the perfect mother and children and we always get on and they never fight!
However on returning to the car after a pleasant afternoon out the fighting and arguing begins again and once again i take up shouting at the kids to stop doing whatever it is!
Upon reaching home the tug of war on EVERY toy resumes.
Despite numerous attempts to bribe, blackmail, and generally negotiate a quieter and calmer household, tomorrow I'm sure will be another battleground and general wearing out if my voice box and sanity! Wish me luck!
Xx
Tuesday 25 July 2017
Bath time
Put 3 year old in bath, turn my back for 2 seconds to hear 7 year old saying 'don't spit on my bottom!' Investigate to find 7 year old in bath with 3 year old, trousers rolled up but otherwise fully clothed! I tell her if you want to get in that's fine. So she does and antics that follow include 3 year old trying to sit on 7 year olds lap to cries of 'oh you've got a boney..................... bottom!'
Nobody tells you when you're expecting that you'll never be able to shower /bath alone again! Recently daughter walked into shower room whilst I was in there, asking me to help her with her Lego! Brought the whole box with her as well!
3 year old always waits until I'm in shower to use the toilet in the same room in spectacular fashion!
So on that lovely image I'll leave you for now!
Xx
Nobody tells you when you're expecting that you'll never be able to shower /bath alone again! Recently daughter walked into shower room whilst I was in there, asking me to help her with her Lego! Brought the whole box with her as well!
3 year old always waits until I'm in shower to use the toilet in the same room in spectacular fashion!
So on that lovely image I'll leave you for now!
Xx
Monday 24 July 2017
24th July 2017
Coming home to the sound of your 3 year old shouting 'don't touch my stick' isn't particularly entertaining unless you understand that this 3 year old pronounces ST with a D!! Following that the sound of his grandmother saying 'now we don't pull our pants down do we!' I wonder what sort of day they've had together!
3 year old continues this theme through the evening but getting out of the shower mid way through, and dripping his way stark naked downstairs because he forgot an apparently highly valuable plastic toy that was crying out for a soaking!
So now both kids are clean and waiting for feeding time the zoo I think I might just get a cuppa in!
Xx
Coming home to the sound of your 3 year old shouting 'don't touch my stick' isn't particularly entertaining unless you understand that this 3 year old pronounces ST with a D!! Following that the sound of his grandmother saying 'now we don't pull our pants down do we!' I wonder what sort of day they've had together!
3 year old continues this theme through the evening but getting out of the shower mid way through, and dripping his way stark naked downstairs because he forgot an apparently highly valuable plastic toy that was crying out for a soaking!
So now both kids are clean and waiting for feeding time the zoo I think I might just get a cuppa in!
Xx
Saturday 22 July 2017
Oh the joys of taking the kids to the pub on a Saturday evening !! It's fine af the time, they're kept amused by the colouring and stickers that the pub provide, or by looking at the photos on Mummy and Daddy's phones, but when you get home at only 7.30 and the kids are acting more drunk than you ....... ! Then daughter asks 'Mummy what's your soul?!' Oh great, I can't answer questions like that on several white wines and an empty stomach!
Time to order some takeaway!
She won't forget you know, just as she's going to bed, slightly later than normal , she'll ask again 'Mummy what's your soul?!'
3 year old is now leaping around like he's on an imaginary space hopper and shouting whilst wearing his sister's shoes! 1/2 hour ago he had a crisp packet on his head! It's worrying when he was only drinking water! Technically he should be the most sober out of all of us! However am now thinking someone spiked 3 year old's water as he's referring to himself as 'nappy bottom' and saying myself and his sister have beautiful noses!!
So i think it's time for the 'commands' (that make me sound like I'm talking to some sort of spaniel! ) In you bed - sit - stay - lay down - good boy!!
Good night xx
Time to order some takeaway!
She won't forget you know, just as she's going to bed, slightly later than normal , she'll ask again 'Mummy what's your soul?!'
3 year old is now leaping around like he's on an imaginary space hopper and shouting whilst wearing his sister's shoes! 1/2 hour ago he had a crisp packet on his head! It's worrying when he was only drinking water! Technically he should be the most sober out of all of us! However am now thinking someone spiked 3 year old's water as he's referring to himself as 'nappy bottom' and saying myself and his sister have beautiful noses!!
So i think it's time for the 'commands' (that make me sound like I'm talking to some sort of spaniel! ) In you bed - sit - stay - lay down - good boy!!
Good night xx
Friday 21 July 2017
21st July 2017
I'm sure most parents have a bed time routine but ours includes high pitched screaming at a level only dogs can hear (from the 3 year old not me!) Followed by some well practiced weight lifting exercise to get 3 year old upstairs, takes several attempts. Then once upstairs, 5 minutes of 3 year old sitting on bathroom floor with eyes like 'Puss in Boots from Shrek' whilst wailing he doesn't want to go to bed and dribbling like a blood hound over the floor!
It can take just as long to get 7 year old to bed only with different challenges. For example if 7 year old has had a banana after dinner, not only does she eat it like an animal she then proceedes to behave like one! It has almost the same affect as if she'd had a whole tube of blue Smarties! As strange as this next sentence is, on some of these occasions she has reminded me of the scene in Blackadder the Third when Blackadder accidentally poisons Smedley with a suicide pill!! The affects of the pill involve leaping around in a crazy manner then jumping in a a corner and slumping to the ground. Affects of above mentioned banana/Smarties are identical only without the tragic end!!
However this evening 7 year old is quite calm and as we watch the start of 'Legally Blonde' and I explain the sometimes people get upset with each other, she makes a remark relating to 'A Midsummer Nights Dream!' Suddenly I'm not feeling like the adult in the room!
Sleep well everyone!! Xx
I'm sure most parents have a bed time routine but ours includes high pitched screaming at a level only dogs can hear (from the 3 year old not me!) Followed by some well practiced weight lifting exercise to get 3 year old upstairs, takes several attempts. Then once upstairs, 5 minutes of 3 year old sitting on bathroom floor with eyes like 'Puss in Boots from Shrek' whilst wailing he doesn't want to go to bed and dribbling like a blood hound over the floor!
It can take just as long to get 7 year old to bed only with different challenges. For example if 7 year old has had a banana after dinner, not only does she eat it like an animal she then proceedes to behave like one! It has almost the same affect as if she'd had a whole tube of blue Smarties! As strange as this next sentence is, on some of these occasions she has reminded me of the scene in Blackadder the Third when Blackadder accidentally poisons Smedley with a suicide pill!! The affects of the pill involve leaping around in a crazy manner then jumping in a a corner and slumping to the ground. Affects of above mentioned banana/Smarties are identical only without the tragic end!!
However this evening 7 year old is quite calm and as we watch the start of 'Legally Blonde' and I explain the sometimes people get upset with each other, she makes a remark relating to 'A Midsummer Nights Dream!' Suddenly I'm not feeling like the adult in the room!
Sleep well everyone!! Xx
Wednesday 19 July 2017
19th July 2017
Waiting in salon this morning with 3 year old for his monthly shearing , one of the stylists comes in, can't see us where we're sitting, 3 year old shouts out ' mummy it's a pteradactyl'! Stylist to say the least probably wondered who the hell let this little creature into her salon and hoped he wasn't booked in with her!
As it was 3 year old is booked with the same lovely young stylist every time. He's always very good sitting on the booster seat with the 'Goofy' child's gown round his neck. Does exactly what the stylist asks and creates absolutely no merry hell. I consider leaving him there for the day!
Following these monthly hair appointments is usually a trip to a well known fast food joint for a doughnut for 3 year old which was the form of bribary used prior to appointment to get him to stop complaining about having to go there in the first place! Sugar from doughnut is then spread thoroughly throughout 3 year olds lovely neat shorn hair!
Its now early afternoon and as have some time before afternoon school run, will happily let 3 year old slump in front of a DVD and may be i'll get to finish a cuppa!
Xx
Waiting in salon this morning with 3 year old for his monthly shearing , one of the stylists comes in, can't see us where we're sitting, 3 year old shouts out ' mummy it's a pteradactyl'! Stylist to say the least probably wondered who the hell let this little creature into her salon and hoped he wasn't booked in with her!
As it was 3 year old is booked with the same lovely young stylist every time. He's always very good sitting on the booster seat with the 'Goofy' child's gown round his neck. Does exactly what the stylist asks and creates absolutely no merry hell. I consider leaving him there for the day!
Following these monthly hair appointments is usually a trip to a well known fast food joint for a doughnut for 3 year old which was the form of bribary used prior to appointment to get him to stop complaining about having to go there in the first place! Sugar from doughnut is then spread thoroughly throughout 3 year olds lovely neat shorn hair!
Its now early afternoon and as have some time before afternoon school run, will happily let 3 year old slump in front of a DVD and may be i'll get to finish a cuppa!
Xx
Monday 17 July 2017
17th July 2017
Came home from work to find an extreme close up mug shot of my daughter stuck to bathroom door! When asked said daughter 'why is your face on the bathroom door?' Reply was a resounding 'dunno!'
This joyful conversation was followed by the smaller child announcing 'mummy I've drawn a picture of a poo!' 7 year old then joins in with some actual conversation along the lines of 'mummy we've been learning about excretion today!' Having visions of 3 year old going into nursery tomorrow (for his last morning before leaving to start school in September) and shouting all about excretion at the top of his voice!
At this point I've still only been home 5 minutes!
Evening continues on with the usual blackmail required to get 3 year old to eat dinner and ninja warrior skills needed (whilst not dropping glass of wine) to get 3 year old to put tambourine down while he's still eating dinner!
Now at 9.10pm, 7 year old is still awake stating its more comfortable to sleep on the floor, well go on then try it and we'll see how long you last.
So at the risk of making myself cry the night before my youngest leaves nursery for the last time tomorrow lunch time, I'm watching 'Marley and Me!' And yes I'm drinking rose wine and tea along side each other! Cheers everybody. Xx
Came home from work to find an extreme close up mug shot of my daughter stuck to bathroom door! When asked said daughter 'why is your face on the bathroom door?' Reply was a resounding 'dunno!'
This joyful conversation was followed by the smaller child announcing 'mummy I've drawn a picture of a poo!' 7 year old then joins in with some actual conversation along the lines of 'mummy we've been learning about excretion today!' Having visions of 3 year old going into nursery tomorrow (for his last morning before leaving to start school in September) and shouting all about excretion at the top of his voice!
At this point I've still only been home 5 minutes!
Evening continues on with the usual blackmail required to get 3 year old to eat dinner and ninja warrior skills needed (whilst not dropping glass of wine) to get 3 year old to put tambourine down while he's still eating dinner!
Now at 9.10pm, 7 year old is still awake stating its more comfortable to sleep on the floor, well go on then try it and we'll see how long you last.
So at the risk of making myself cry the night before my youngest leaves nursery for the last time tomorrow lunch time, I'm watching 'Marley and Me!' And yes I'm drinking rose wine and tea along side each other! Cheers everybody. Xx
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