What have you done today?

What have you done today to make you feel proud?

Well , yesterday for example,  I turned up for work after a lovely week off, without moaning!  Didn't drink nearly enough caffeine and realised at 5.30pm that I hadn't had a drink (of any sort) for at least 4 hours!  Incidentally, this is actual footage of my desk most mornings!!

Other areas of achievment today, include not hyperventilating when 8 year old threw toothpaste down her clean dress at 8am!  And not complaining when 5 year old wanted to sit and read through every single Pokemon name on the leaflet that came with his latest Pokemon toy, about 30,000 times!

So, to continue quoting lines from 'Miranda' (in case Miranda Hart is reading this, by far the best comedy sitcom ever!! - Seriously I do love it!) 'I'm off for a 'what I call' glass of wine! And to contemplate the fact that East Kent is due for about 3 snow flakes overnight and we may be facing this in the morning..........!!

Have a good evening everyone!!

New Year, New Look

Happy 2019 one and all.






With the new year comes a new look for my book 'Maternal Instincts the laugh or you might cry diary.' 

Available again now on Amazon and Waterstones websites.  So tell everyone you know, spread the word!


So how are we all 4 days into 2019?  Any new year's resolutions out there?  For myself, I refer you to my post from last year concerning resolutions -


'Call me pessimistic but personally I don't see the point!  I mean, it's worth it if you're planning on stopping smoking or something life changing but you've still got to really want it.  You've got to be mentally prepared, and personally I don't feel mentally prepared to stop buying lattes, start jogging or even go 'dry January!'


My birthday (this year a particular milestone) is this month so dry January wouldn't work anyway! 


And for the last few days I am relishing in the fact I can finally (after 4 months) enjoy a drink without coughing!  Has anyone else experienced the hacking cough that just won't do one?  I eventually stumbled on 'Lemsip cough syrup.'  Not the drink or the capsules, but an actual syrup that is soooooooo menthol it clears noses in the whole street!  But it doesn't half help soothe a tickly throat!  Highly recommended.
A sip of this, followed by some wine a bit later also helps you sleep!!


Have a lovely evening everyone, I am just remembering it's Friday, serious 'day confusion' over the Christmas and New Year period!!


Much love xx

Christmas 'Tails'

So to say my 8-year-old wasn't very amused to be cast as the back end of a cow for her school Christmas play is an understatement!  I wasn't too amused either!  She literally did get the 'tails' end of the deal instead of 'heads!!'

However I've got to say that 'Tail' did brilliantly well!  Turns out that the back and front ends of the cow (Tail and Moo!) were separate characters who spend the whole play running around looking for each other, why?...................................  Because the wicked witch has cut the cow in half of course!

They played it brilliantly and the whole of the year group did exceptionally well.  And of course, if my daughter's going to be the back end of a cow then she WILL have a tinsel tail!!

Of course I must also say well done to my 5-year-old and his year group for their nativity last week.  It's been a very 'farm animal' sort of year with Christmas plays as my son was a sheep!

I hope everyone's kiddies involved in a festive play have done fabulous performances.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all. Xx 🎄

The joys of 'adult' conversations!

It really is exciting being a grown up isn't it!!

Here are some insights into conversations I've actually had recently -

Yesterday I grated my thumb with the cheese grater!  I was then advised that holding a piece of bread on top of the cheese when grating, stops you from grating your fingers when the cheese runs out!

Morning!  The news says Megan (the Duchess of Sussex) is expecting, and by the way have you fed the fish! 

Discussions with my friends surrounding how best to fold bed sheets and duvets for easy storage!  (We used to talk about nail varnish and shoes - I think - seems like a lifetime ago!)

Conversations with my mum over the best loo cleaner! (Bloo or Harpic?? What do we all think?!!) 

Can you bring a cabbage home please! 

And of course not forgetting the endless discussions with an 8 year old (for those who see my Facebook page you'll know the '8 year old wisdoms'  -  'Juveniles' and 'The Beth!') 

Finally I'll end with some memorable conversations had with my 5 year old - 

Why are your trousers on backwards?
How long have you been running around with your trousers on backwards?
Don't throw your pants down the stairs! 

Have a lovely day everyone! Xx

Strictly madness

Saturday evenings, end of the school week, antibiotics and 'Strictly' seem to have had a very strange effect on my children!

The other week when they had 'movie week' and the first performance was to a song from 'Mamma Mia' - the set looked like Mamma Mia, the dancers were dressed to reflect Mamma Mia, both Tess and the announcer said they were dancing to a song from Mamma Mia, and the song was obviously an Abba song from Mamma Mia - right at the start, 3 seconds in, 8-year-old asks 'is this a song from Mamma Mia!'

Then further in the show, when someone was obviously dressed as Spider Man, can you guess what 5-year-old asked!!

This madness was followed by 5-year-old starting to sing some George Ezra lyrics, from 'Paradise.'  Only to start with, until we realised what he was trying to say, it really sounded like he was swearing!  '................your bloody things, your bloody things' over and over again!  To anyone whose not caught on it's - 'if it feels like paradise running through you bloody VEINS!' 

He followed on his 5 minutes of madness by gluing his current 'masterpiece' to the wall! Yes gluing!  Luckily I caught him and the wall paper survived!

Originally I wasn't sure how to end this post, and then as if by magic, 5-year-old announces he's allergic to cockatoo's!  And there we have it! 😂😂


Have a lovely evening everyone! Xx

Zog, Maya and Mary

So you may have noticed I haven't been on this planet for a while!  Truth is, I took a trip to another planet, 'Planet Zog!' 

Since the end of August someone in our house has been coughing continuously!  My 5-year-old started it before even going back to school in September, then my daughter followed suite as per my previous post 'Planet Zog'  And finally they lovingly shared their germs with Mummy and Daddy! 

It's been horrendous, feeling like I have the flu every other day, not wanting wine!  And the hacking cough that won't let up that finally saw me and my 8-year-old go arm in arm to the doctor for antibiotics.

Anyway, although I feel like I've lost a month somewhere, and have been just 'getting by' instead of living, my daughter has created, and put her all into, 2 school projects (whilst coughing!)

She asked me to include them in my blog so here we go:

#1  Mayan art.

The Maya produced some of the finest art from Mexico and Central America.  Some of the Maya's most striking pieces of art were portraits of themselves. This however, is not a portrait of my 8-year-old!  But she's very proud of it and she put so much effort into it, all her own work, year 4 obviously agrees with her!

#2  Mary Seacole

Mary Seacole was famous for healing and care of the wounded in the Crimean War.  She was also well known for wearing bright colours and ribbons so my daughter has incorporated this in her design of her article about Mary Seacole.

So this is my blog about Zog, Maya and Mary.  Have a good Sunday evening all, I will be hitting the antibiotics again later and dreaming about the wine!
Xx

Planet Zog

There's a place my children go, when they're woken from a deep sleep, but not completely awake, or poorly and high on Calpol!  I call it 'Planet Zog!'

My daughter visited Planet Zog recently when poorly.

The first clue she gave me of her whereabouts was after getting home from school feeling terrible, she had fallen asleep on her bed fully clothed.  I had gone up and changed her into her pyjamas which she appeared to wake up for, but later proved not.  She slept for 2 hours during the evening and upon waking up asked:

Has my brother been to bed?

Little brother then asked something about dinner, I replied 'yes I'm doing it now,' to which daughter says 'but dinner's later.'  I have to explain that dinner hasn't happened yet, it's 6.30 and it's still Tuesday!

Questions that followed were:

Why am I in my pyjamas?
Are you sure it's Tuesday?  It was a bit like talking to a drunk person!
and most importantly, have I missed the Bake Off!

So after a sleepless night with a hacking cough, temperature etc, she is off school for a couple of days and the following night she falls asleep (at the right time of night this time) but unbeknown to me she has put a fleece poncho on before falling asleep, using it like a dressing gown I guess.  I don't like them falling asleep with something that could potentially be tight around their necks, so I half wake her up to take it off her.  Again I'm fooled into thinking she is actually awake as she starts talking to me, but I soon realise she is again on 'Zog' as she starts bashing her head and talking gibberish!

And on the final night of her mini break to 'Zog' she wakes during the night and stumbles around.  I get out of bed to check on her and find her sitting on the floor in the doorway of her brother's room.  I ask if she needs the loo to which she nods 'yes.'   I guide her into the bathroom to which she starts doing all the right things, then turns round catches sight of me in the doorway and says 'I'M GOING TO THE TOILET' and slams the door in my face!

So I'm stood there waiting for her, not sure whether to laugh or not!  She finishes her business and opens the door and greets me with 'OH WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE!'  And stomps back to bed!

The next morning we seem to return to normal.

'Til next time 'Zog!'

xx