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Saturday, 24 February 2018

We're all parents

I saw this article on Netmums earlier and it's inspired me to write a different blog post to normal.

https://www.netmums.com/support/mums-brilliant-response-to-woman-who-said-she-wasnt-a-real-parent

The above article relates to a mother who adpoted her child and was being criticised for not being a 'real mother.'
I'd like to take the 'giving birth doesn't always make you a parent' from a different angle.

I'm going to be brutally honest and say that when I had my 1st child, I found it incredibly difficult from the word go. I suffered from the 'baby blues' and every day just wanted to run away. This didn't last long thankfully but I found the whole motherhood thing a huge adjustment.

I've seen articles criticising c-sections basically making them look like the easy option.  They're most definitely not an easy option.

My first child was born by emergency c-section. They whisk you into theatre at a rate of knots, you're barely aware of the risks but you've scrawled your signature on the form anyway.  As I'm sure in a lot of cases, because they didn't know it would necessarily end this way, they've let you have something to eat at some point. So after going through rushed major abdominal surgery, I was of course very sick.  Therefore I couldn't hold my daughter immediately let alone attempt to feed her. As a result I'm convinced this is why the baby blues set in.

My 2nd child was born by elective c-section. A totally different experience. You get to meet the anaesthetist, surgeon and midwives who will  be with you in theatre. All the staff seem more relaxed. Everything's done in good time. You're fully aware of the risks and because you're going for major abdominal surgery you've not been allowed to eat anything for hours.

I held my son straight away.  And honestly, to this day (nearly 5 years later) I still maintain that my relationship with him is totally different to my relationship with my daughter. It doesn't mean I don't love her, of course I do, it just means my start to my motherhood journey was a bit shaky and this can have lasting affects.

Having a child, in WHATEVER way, DOES make you a parent. Motherhood is a major adjustment to your life, some of us don't take to it as easily as others.

A couple of my friends with young babies recently referred to me as a 'pro!' And although I see it as a compliment, I'd like to tell them that when their kids are nearly 8 and 5, both in school, and they're stood there holding someone else's baby, you too will feel like a pro because you've been able to sleep slightly better and drink a latte that morning in peace!!

Much love to all mothers, we're all doing great. xx💜


Wednesday, 21 February 2018

Half Term

Well I had a little break last week, not intentionally, but it was half term and I found myself quite busy being social. I'm quite glad we were booked up because these days, now the kids are both at school, they're just not used to spending all day in each other's company! Tug of war over EVERY toy!  4-year-old launching himself at 7-year-old when the only thing she's guilty of is trying to do something by herself for 5 minutes!

Somewhere mixed into the week was pancake day. That evening consists of me standing at the hob making pancakes for everyone else and eventually getting to eat the last one which by that point I'm no longer interested in!  7-year-old attempted to flip a pancake which she did really quite well.  And 4-year-old, as predicted, ended up with a mess of pancake and ice cream in a bowl, neither of which he actually ate!

And as for Valentine's Day when 2 kids are involved!!  We got each other cards and said we'd have takeaway for dinner.
By the evening, after a few hours with friends and their children on a mass half term play date, all children sugared up on muffins/doughnuts, safe to say both kids were going a bit bonkers! The film 'Valentines Day' was on TV so started trying to watch it but impossible to hear it over the sound of a 4-year-old and a 7-year-old hyena!!
By the time we get to ordering takeaway, I've got a 7-year-old on my lap, still laughing like a hyena, and a 4-year-old launching himself at us with a batman mask on and a plastic box on his head!
Who said romance is dead!

So safe to say I'm quite glad this minute to be sat with my coffee, writing this in peace!

Hope everyone had a good half term.
Xx

Wednesday, 7 February 2018

The daily inspiration

My husband said, on Sunday morning, that there's enough material in this house for a blog post every 5 minutes!

He wasn't wrong.

On this particular morning, the kids were going a bit bonkers, charging up and down and for some stupid reason I thought it would be sensible to let them have a biscuit each! So tell 7-year-old to get the biscuit tin, which she does whilst still charging around.  Of course, naturally, this results in her tripping over her brother and biscuits going  flying all over the carpet!

That evening, 7-year-old makes it a hat trick of sneaking up on me by appearing behind me in the dark in her brother's bedroom! She silently crept in and as I turn round I come face to face (as usual barely a millimetre between us) with a shorter version of myself just the whites of her eyes showing!!

And finally for this week, last night 7-year-old starts doing, what she calls (and insists is called) hair banging!! 😂 shaking her head (and hair) violently to the Ghostbusters theme tune!!

Xx

Tuesday, 30 January 2018

Natural progression

Well I've got to say 4-year-old has come a long way since starting school last September.  He's now drawing and colouring quite intricately, starting to read, but mostly his love in life is making many many many many many objects out of cardboard! Today's make is a Dragon apparently.

The school always ask for any boxes or empty bottles or anything the kids can use for art and crafts. I know if i send some in, my son will just bring it all back home!! We are basically hording everyone else's recycling!

The 'best' one was one Friday he come home clutching an empty fabric softener bottle that was apparently his 'rocket.' Only it didn't have a lid and all we could smell all weekend was 'summer breeze!'

When he's not crafting something, wasting sellotape and slopping glue everywhere he's drawing  and yesterday evening burst into the shower room, whilst I was in there, shouting because he couldn't reach his chalk that was in the middle of the dining table!

On another note, for those that remember 'Bob the Bug' you'll be pleased to know that he his not sounding quite so much like the 'bug*er he used to be!!'

Moving onto 7-year-old, sometimes I can't believe the brain power on one so small!  She completed 60 times tables in 90 seconds the other day! I just sat there staring at her in disbelief and awe!

She reads constantly, got in from work yesterday, she was already in her room reading, didn't see her for more than an hour until i called her for dinner. She'd read over 100 pages.

They say children's brains are sponges, they take it all in and learn so quickly, it' very true.

Xx

Wednesday, 24 January 2018

Happy Birthday to me!

So as I embark on my last 365 days of being a thirty something I wonder where did the time go? How did I get here?!!

This latte loving, mother of 2, school run, part timer wasn't always me!

How did I come to love the Saturday evening's at home, just the 4 of us, watching bad TV and talking absolute waffle!!

Call it old age but I actually like looking at the kitchen stuff in shops! There's a really nice apple pie tin in Sainsbury's!

I also feel, now I'm at this point/age that we're actually 'living' a bit more. Now the kids are both in school, they're that bit older, no toilet training, no changing bag and half the house each time you go out, no pushchair etc.

Having said that there's also a birthday downfall, partly due to having school age children, and partly the curse of a winter birthday is the certainty that someone WILL be ill on my birthday!

Take this year, I was rudely awoken at 5am by 7-year-old coughing, sat in with her for a bit, went back to bed but couldn't sleep as hubby had been poorly too so started wondering if I needed a 'plan b' for my birthday.  Then got up at 7 to sound of 4-year- old shouting  'MUMMY' at the top of his voice.

Spent the next 2 hours downstairs telling 4-year-old to 'be quiet' because his sister and daddy were still sleeping.

Decide to rearrange my plan for the day, meanwhile throwing my parents and brother into turmoil as they suddenly realise they're feeding an extra 3 people for Sunday lunch!

Get back home in the evening and continue to tell 4-year-old to be quiet as I really can't take any more!

7-year-old is now coughing almost continually.
Eventually when everyone else is in bed, I think I might get to watch something I like at least with a glass of wine - no of course not - have to keep running upstairs as 7-year-old is coughing or should I say barking, therefore not sleeping, and sipping the wine is actually making me cough more!

So I've not felt particularly celebratory this year but as above, there are good points, and it's certainly not the end of the world. Its just life.

Xx


Tuesday, 16 January 2018

In charge of a 7-year-old

My 7-year-old daughter is beautiful, kind, academic etc but sometimes......... well ........ ............. honestly I just don't know!!

Scenarios include:

1.  Walking through the front door to the sound of said daughter shouting 'who turned my bird off' is not a statement one often hears!  She was, of course, referring to her 'Little Live Pets bird' that she got for Christmas where if you switch it on it tweets away.  You can also record something and it repeats it back to you like a parrot.  So this little bird has been known to say many things including 'merry Christmas, happy new year' and 'who let the dogs out' as well as other song lyrics!

2.  I'm cooking dinner and in she strides announcing that if there is a child in the house under 5, and there's a fire, that we shouldn't call 999 but instead ring an 0800 number and book a free home safety check!!  I don't think she's read the fire safety leaflet from school quite correctly!!

3.  I'm in the bathroom for the obvious reason, upon leaving bathroom and opening door, I come literally face to face with daughter (I mean honestly there's barely a millimetre between us!) asking me if we need to keep a leaflet from the school advertising school holiday activities!! Seriously, how long had she been stood there, face pressed up against the door!!

And those who have read my blog from last week will know about the 'may the force be reduced' incident!!

Happy days 😂😂 xx


Tuesday, 9 January 2018

May the force be with you

So 4-year-old has recently discovered Star Wars. Got a Star Wars light saber, slippers, pyjamas, lunch box and back pack for Christmas.

However I'm not sure about 7-year-olds understanding of the subject!  The other day, 4-year-old was leaping around and playing with light saber whilst wearing nothing but a pair of pants and storm trooper slippers when 7-year-old leaps into the game holding a torch and shouting 'may the force be reduced!!' 😂😂

Yes, she actually thought that's what it was!!

Not sure me thinking it was the funniest thing I'd ever heard was particularly useful!

Anyway the phrase has now stuck and that's what she shouts every time she sees something Star Wars!

Also, you should never under estimate the power of a pair of storm trooper slippers! Since having the slippers they have worked as a form of bribery to get 4-year-old to take a bath, go to bed (wearing slippers, which were discarded as soon as he realised it wasn't very comfortable!) And get ready for school (obviously having to extract slippers from him to put on school shoes is a whole different argument!)

May the force be with you all today!! Xx