We're all parents

I saw this article on Netmums earlier and it's inspired me to write a different blog post to normal.

https://www.netmums.com/support/mums-brilliant-response-to-woman-who-said-she-wasnt-a-real-parent

The above article relates to a mother who adpoted her child and was being criticised for not being a 'real mother.'
I'd like to take the 'giving birth doesn't always make you a parent' from a different angle.

I'm going to be brutally honest and say that when I had my 1st child, I found it incredibly difficult from the word go. I suffered from the 'baby blues' and every day just wanted to run away. This didn't last long thankfully but I found the whole motherhood thing a huge adjustment.

I've seen articles criticising c-sections basically making them look like the easy option.  They're most definitely not an easy option.

My first child was born by emergency c-section. They whisk you into theatre at a rate of knots, you're barely aware of the risks but you've scrawled your signature on the form anyway.  As I'm sure in a lot of cases, because they didn't know it would necessarily end this way, they've let you have something to eat at some point. So after going through rushed major abdominal surgery, I was of course very sick.  Therefore I couldn't hold my daughter immediately let alone attempt to feed her. As a result I'm convinced this is why the baby blues set in.

My 2nd child was born by elective c-section. A totally different experience. You get to meet the anaesthetist, surgeon and midwives who will  be with you in theatre. All the staff seem more relaxed. Everything's done in good time. You're fully aware of the risks and because you're going for major abdominal surgery you've not been allowed to eat anything for hours.

I held my son straight away.  And honestly, to this day (nearly 5 years later) I still maintain that my relationship with him is totally different to my relationship with my daughter. It doesn't mean I don't love her, of course I do, it just means my start to my motherhood journey was a bit shaky and this can have lasting affects.

Having a child, in WHATEVER way, DOES make you a parent. Motherhood is a major adjustment to your life, some of us don't take to it as easily as others.

A couple of my friends with young babies recently referred to me as a 'pro!' And although I see it as a compliment, I'd like to tell them that when their kids are nearly 8 and 5, both in school, and they're stood there holding someone else's baby, you too will feel like a pro because you've been able to sleep slightly better and drink a latte that morning in peace!!

Much love to all mothers, we're all doing great. xx💜

Half Term

Well I had a little break last week, not intentionally, but it was half term and I found myself quite busy being social. I'm quite glad we were booked up because these days, now the kids are both at school, they're just not used to spending all day in each other's company! Tug of war over EVERY toy!  4-year-old launching himself at 7-year-old when the only thing she's guilty of is trying to do something by herself for 5 minutes!

Somewhere mixed into the week was pancake day. That evening consists of me standing at the hob making pancakes for everyone else and eventually getting to eat the last one which by that point I'm no longer interested in!  7-year-old attempted to flip a pancake which she did really quite well.  And 4-year-old, as predicted, ended up with a mess of pancake and ice cream in a bowl, neither of which he actually ate!

And as for Valentine's Day when 2 kids are involved!!  We got each other cards and said we'd have takeaway for dinner.
By the evening, after a few hours with friends and their children on a mass half term play date, all children sugared up on muffins/doughnuts, safe to say both kids were going a bit bonkers! The film 'Valentines Day' was on TV so started trying to watch it but impossible to hear it over the sound of a 4-year-old and a 7-year-old hyena!!
By the time we get to ordering takeaway, I've got a 7-year-old on my lap, still laughing like a hyena, and a 4-year-old launching himself at us with a batman mask on and a plastic box on his head!
Who said romance is dead!

So safe to say I'm quite glad this minute to be sat with my coffee, writing this in peace!

Hope everyone had a good half term.
Xx

The daily inspiration

My husband said, on Sunday morning, that there's enough material in this house for a blog post every 5 minutes!

He wasn't wrong.

On this particular morning, the kids were going a bit bonkers, charging up and down and for some stupid reason I thought it would be sensible to let them have a biscuit each! So tell 7-year-old to get the biscuit tin, which she does whilst still charging around.  Of course, naturally, this results in her tripping over her brother and biscuits going  flying all over the carpet!

That evening, 7-year-old makes it a hat trick of sneaking up on me by appearing behind me in the dark in her brother's bedroom! She silently crept in and as I turn round I come face to face (as usual barely a millimetre between us) with a shorter version of myself just the whites of her eyes showing!!

And finally for this week, last night 7-year-old starts doing, what she calls (and insists is called) hair banging!! 😂 shaking her head (and hair) violently to the Ghostbusters theme tune!!

Xx